Thursday, February 12, 2009


Strength is what you have that's stronger than ever
Strength is the only power that is stronger than any power of mankind
Strength is something that gives you the power to carry on
Strength gives you the the power to help someone you love
Strength is a power that you have within yourself

This is something that I truly believe in and I have been trying to live by since Jan 1st 2009. I will admit it has definitely been trying to do so because there is so much negativity around. It's like I'm trying to be a ray of sunlight and people want to keep bringing in the dark clouds around me?? How whack is that??? I've had a long talk with my dad and a long talk with the man above to come to an understanding as to why must all the drama and bad things keep surrounding me? Am I being punished? Is it the company I keep? Is it because I don't take sides and I'm a neutral party? Is it because I'm being tested for something greater?

I have all these thoughts running through my head and I cant come up with a logical explanation? I'm a very good person, I work hard, I'm respectable, dependable, compassionate, funny, adventurous, trustworthy, honest, and fair. But I still feel like I get the short end of the stick. Ive been through alot!! More than what everyone would not even believe I went through if I told them. And I'm still here and I'm still standing, but I feel like there has been this fuse burning and burning and its about to burn out!! That's exactly how my mind body and soul feels. JUST COMPLETELY BURNED OUT I'm not saying im the only one who goes through this either. Im sure many and plenty of people have, are, or will be going through this. Im just wondering, when will it end??

My god mom always tells me, " Ran, you have to stop doing and worrying about others and worry and do for yourself! Stop putting yourself last. Stop worrying about you not being there for your family, friends, co-workers, etc. So what if they get mad, where are they at when you need them? Are they at your beck and call? Are they worried about your health, your mind, trouble at work,your grieving process??" When she said that to me it really hit home and made me think about all of that??? And she had a good valid point, No matter if it was harsh or not. She had a great point..........To be continued.....????


I am Jwork said...

your strong ass hell Ran

Miss.Stefanie said...

You are one of the strongest women I know Ran!

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Ran, your god mom gave ya the absolute truth. I've been exactly where you are, only to later realize that I did all the worrying and helping for nothing. Not saying that we shouldn't be good to others, but there's a season of life that requires us to focus on ourselves. I don't know about you, but I've become my own best friend. Hang in there, babes :-).

Anonymous said...

It's shocking to hear you speak like this because even though I don't know you personally, I feel like I do because of reading our blog.

You are a very strong person from what I read and you need to realize that.

Sometimes when I feel down and need a pick me up I come to your blog because I know youre going to have something to make me happy and smile.

Keep your head up Ran, because you are much stronger than you think.