Beautiful U Are

So I was talking to a friend of mine and she is really going through it right now. A lot is happening in her life right now and she feeling like she's just at rock bottom. She's feeling sad about losing her boyfriend and having family issues. Which I can definitely relate to. I mean who out there can't relate to losing a girlfriend/boyfriend and having family issues??

She said something to me that really rocked me to my core!! She said, " Randa he left me for a stick thin video model looking chick!?!?" WHAT?! Come again?? She said the person she had been with for the past 3yrs up and left her a for a girl that you would see in a video?? Now by all means I have no problem with girls who look "that way"(whatever classifies as your typical video model??) which I feel is very stereo typical because beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors.

But for her to say it the way she did, just rocked me to my core!! It hurt me and I'm not even the one in the relationship!! I just know the kind of woman she is and the kind of heart she has. I've know her since elementary school and we've been cool every since!! She's kind, funny, adventurous, determined, dedicated dependable, and smart as hell!!! I mean she's an attorney and she has her own real estate company!!!!

I've never personally had anyone tell me that they didn't wanna be with me anymore because of my weight. I was very luck in that dept because I was with someone who was all about image due to the nature of his business. But he always stood by me in that department even when everyone else had shit to fuckin say. Til this day I respect him for that and appreciate it as wll. I can honestly say that I have battled with my weight over the years and it is a very hard struggle. But at the same time I'm comfortable with me and I know that when I feel like I'm ready to really lose more weight and get back into tip top shape I will. But on my own terms and at my own discretion!!!

I am for sure not the same size 7 I was all through high school and up to my sophomore year of college. Hell I'm not even the damn size 9 10 I was my last two years of college!!lol But we all go through things that cause us to gain weight. No matter if its the pressures of school, work, family stress, or even relationships with our partners. Everyone goes through it. So what gives someone else the right to tell someone they love that they don't wanna be with them no more because of their weight??? What kind of bullshit is that!?!?!?

This is something that I hear so often that's is almost just as funny as it is hurtful to me. I mean half the time the person making the comment ain't so damn hot themselves!! Some of y'all know y'all know somebody like that??lol But seriously this is a burden that can sound so small and minute, but at the same time it causes some people to have mental, emotional, and unhealthy thoughts about themselves and even about life. I always tell my best friend, " You need to watch what you say and how you say it." I say this because some people can be too up front and honest and its just effin mean as hell!!! Even though they may not mean it to come off that way it does.

Words truly do have a way of really getting down to someones core and messing them up. Especially if that person is not stable enough to handle what is being dished out to them. Even though sometimes that person may put on that " Tough as nails " role, it can really affect them. Next time you or anyone else says something that's just hardcore, think about that. Words truly do hurt sometimes, " So watch what you say, and how you say it."

Over the last few months I have just been really kind of keeping to myself and just observing everything and everyone around me. It's been very amusing to say the least. When I think of all the things that has happened since 2008 up til now it really makes me realize that I truly have a blessed life and at this point I'm living for me and nobody else!! Like the header to my blog says, " We can't please everyone."

Now for everyone who has been following my blog you all know that I was on a hardcore mission to loose 15-20 pounds,and I did it. But do I wanna lose more? Yea I do. And who do I wanna do it for? ME I'm not about impressing or outdoing anyone out here. Because no matter how small, how toned, or how in shape I'm in, there will always be someone else who wants it more. I want it to be healthy and happy. I mean yea the bathing suits and short skirts/dress are good motivation too, but those are just accessories if you will. I want to be healthy and happy so I can live a long full life and be able to run with my kids and grandchildren one day.

Alot of girls get the misconception that we have to be a size 00 to be sexy?!?! Not knocking those who are that small, but never have I or will I ever be that small! I wouldn't want to because I'd look sick as hell!!lol I'm 5'6", can you imagine me that small??? Beauty comes in all sizes, shapes, and curves. Remember ladies we are not arm candy or accessories in relationships. Yes its great to wanna look good for your man, I'm not saying it's wrong or tat you souldn't do it. But if you are happy with some curves and meat on your bones then be happy with it! But make sure your healthy with it too. And to all those men and women who put negative thoughts into peoples mind about their weight and working out.....make sure you looking right cha damn self befoe you pass judgement on to someone else!!!!!

In the words of my girl Tyra Banks, If you don't like my not so flat stomach, my not so toned legs, my huge boobs, thick hips, and just all around curvaceous body........"YOU CAN KISS MY FAT ASS!!!!!!!!"

We have to be happy within ourselves, before we can turly make someone else happy.

Motivation

" I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass. "


Maya Angelou

I read this quote and I absolutely loved it! I am a huge fan of Dr. Angelou and this just caught me so off guard, but then it's so real too! I have so much happiness, dedication, fulfillment, and drive right now that it's not even funny. After I had the talk with my god mom and also just going to church and reading my bible more I'm just starting to see the old me coming back.

I had felt like I was someone else for so long that I didn't even recognize myself? As sad as that sounds it's so true. When certain things in life happen and you have certain relationships and bonds with people you almost find yourself changing to fit their needs. Now you may or may not notice it at first, but once you do it's almost like it's too late?

Now I truly appreciate and respect all those who have come into my life. No matter if it was for a Reason, Season, Or a Lifetime, because they all have taught me so many things. I posted a poem awhile back entitled, " Everyone Can't Be In Your Front Row ". It's so true, everyone can't be there, until you are there yourself! That's how I feel right now. I'm the main attraction, the center of attention, I'm front row center for myself.

I'm not trying to sound cocky or arrogant, I'm merely using those examples as a metaphor to express that I'm taking care of me for me now, and everyone else should feel lucky to have me decide to let you be a part of my inner circle and care for you as I'm about to start caring for myself again. Wow! I'd never thought I would say something like that because I was always so focused on everyone else that I lost focus of myself.

Well that's over with! It's a brand new day and I'm so ready to, " Grab the world by it's lapel " and live a happy fulfilling life. Not matter if it's by myself or with a family. I'm gonna be the woman that I was always meant to be and hopefully an inspiration to my younger female cousins and others to do the same. I've been getting business in order to move and I've been so excited!!

I was talking to a good friend of mine today about me moving and my feelings on it. I told him that I almost feel guilty about leaving because of my true friends, brothers, nephews, and my godparents who I know will miss me terribly, but at the same time I can't effin wait to leave!!! I'm so happy where my life is right now that I cant see straight. Everything I've been thinking and talking about is really happening! There is still alot of things that are still up in the air, but bottom line is I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.

So watch out world, cause this young woman is about to start kicking ass and taking names!!lol Shine in 09 or get left behind!!!!!

No End To Success

Success is not the triumph over regress,
Success is the power to suppress.
Success is not the money or the fame,
Success is, knowing you are still the same.
Success is not the power or the pride.
Success is the knowing how to hide.
Success is not a gift or gain,
Success is accepting and believing in your name.
Success is not a point or goal to seek,
Success is, believing you have never reached the peak.

Please always remember this. This is for all those out there who are going to school, advancing in their careers, trying to start a career, business owners, net workers,designers, models, actors, and anybody else out there who is trying to make it to the top.

Fear & Frustration

Fear and frustrations are useful things. When you're in a swirl of frustation because you can't see the way out or you hate your life, that energy fires up the cylinders. It's like cranking the motor that drives.

Fear of failure is the best motivator there is. At least until you're enlighten enough to be completely fearless, which is the ultimate goal for all of us, right?

Appreciate how fears of failure and of wasted opportunity can drive a person forward.

Start A Journal

Saying your intentions out loud an writing them down on paper confirms things and makes them happen.

It's a way of stating your intention to the universe. Keeping a journal that only you have access to is a very healthy way of downloading your hopes, dreams, and wishes and giving them concrete form.

I am very big about writing things down and keeping lists and planners too!! I have always felt that its a way to keep things in order and to also check of goals, aspirations, plans, etc as I complete them.

Call me anal or a woman with a slight case of ocd, but I do not care cuz it does work!!!lol I actually came by a list I had from the 4th grade!!lol I had 10 goals I wanted to accomplish in life and so far I have about.....oh 5 or 6 left. I'm still young, no kids, no husband, nothing to tie me down so I better get working!!!;o)