Missing You.........

Mom, Me, and one of my brothers


Mom, me, and my 2nd mom


I cant believe were the time has gone? It's been a year already and it still feels like yesterday when i got that dreadful call. I will never forget it was about 3:30am and the phone rang, I answered only to hear Billy's voice shaking with fear, and crying like Ive never heard him before. " Sis, I'm so sorry to tell you this, but mom died!!" What was the first thought in my head?!?!
I had just spoken to you that night on the phone when I got home from work. You were laughing and joking around talking about, " When you and my son in law gonna get married, I need some grand kids!!" Then you said, " Miranda, I'm so proud of the woman you have become. I know I wasn't always there for you like I should've been, but you were blessed with Elaine and Spencer. they have taught you to be an even better woman than I ever could have been. You and your brothers have always been the joy in my life and I will always love y'all. But you are my baby and my only girl, and you have a gift inside of you that you haven't even acknowledged yet. The whole world will be blessed once you realize what it is."
Then You went off for x-rays, and the last time i heard your voice was you saying, " I love you stank, with all my heart forever and always." I still hear those words ringing in my mind and in my heart. It was so hard at first trying to get over the loss of you because a few month after it was like Bam! Grandad passed then not too long after uncle David passed.
Slowly but surly it has gotten easier. All the tears, panic attacks, sad moments, bad dreams are slowly fading away. I know it will always be there and I will never forget but it is easier to cope with it alot more. I must say that I truly have the best family and friends in the world. Going through this tough time it truly showed me who was really in my corner and who truly love me. It also showed the fake and the phony as well.
I will say that i still miss you terribly but i understand i cant be selfish. The lord knew what he was doing when he took the 3 of you from us. He was letting yal get the rest yal deserved because your work here on earth was done and he felt yal completed journey that he had laid out for yal since birth.
And i want to say thank you for putting Elaine and Spencer in my life. without those to who knows where i would be? they have always accepted me like i was there own and nothing less. the have given me all the love, support, and dedication that any child could ask for. and even though I'm grown and on my own they still provide me with all those things and more!!
I love you mom and nothing will ever change that! No matter if you were there for us or not, you still showed me the type of woman i wanted to be. I always said i had the best of both worlds when it comes to living. Ive seen the bad and ive lived the good. I believe that's why I'm able to related to all kinds of people from both sides of the track.
i believe I'm understanding that gift that you were speaking of? I'm actually in the midst of another degree and also on the verge of starting some organizations and other business ventures. I saw one of your clients the other day that you use to council, she broke down in tears and just hugged me. " You look so much like your mother its crazy!" I actually was invited to go and speak at the faith mission where you use to work to some the to teenage girls who went through what I went through when you were battling your demons.
Mom, I love you with all my heart and soul and i always will. continue to keep your arms wrapped around the family so the good blessing will continue to bless us. 4 you will always be in my mind and always wrapped around my soul.

Love Always,
Miranda Marie

Sidebar: The pics above are from the day of my senior prom. Even though I have plenty of other pics, I choose those because my mom always said I looked like I was going to my wedding instead of a prom.lol So since she will not be able to be with me on my wedding day, i figured this was the next best thing!!;o)

My 2009 Has Kicked Off With A Bang!!!

Hello blogworld!!! I hope all had a wonderful, safe, fun New Year? I know some partied long and hard, some went to church, and some may have just stayed at the crib and chilled.

I myself went to a friends party and had a blast!!!! It was almost like havin a high school reunion, cuz EVERYBODY in there was people I went to school with and hadn't seen for awhile. So it was great to catch up and bring in a new year.

It was a very casual down to earth cool mellow crowd. Everyone was def getting their grown and sexy swag on!!lol The music was bumping, drinks was flowin, laughter, dancing, picture taking, and food!!! OMG!!! The food was great!!! Bbq ribs, meatballs, greens, mac & cheese, green beans, the works!!! And it was all free!!!!

Then the countdown began!!! Everyone had their hats, lights, noise makers as we watched the ball drop to bring in a new year!!! Now throughout the night the dj kept asking people their resolutions and goals for 2009. He said whatever the majority was he would play a song representing the most voted one.

So after hitting one and everyone screaming, hugging, crying, just bein overwhelmed with the start of a new year, the dj says" Okay we have a tie for the most common resolution/goal for the new year! Here's the 1st joint." Everyone stops and waits.......then blastin out the speaker came........." I get money...I I get money..." so you know it went bananas!!!!lol then we were jammin to that and the dj says," okay here's the other song...this ones is strictly 4 the ladies!" Then of course the ladies anthem came blarin out..." All my single ladies...all my single ladies!!"

Needless to say it went down!!!! So much fun, no drama, no stress, no fights, just love, respect, happiness, and the eagerness of a great new year!!

I'm very much looking forward to this new year. There are a lot of great things that will be goin on in my life and those around me. Like today is my dads last day of work after 43 years at the post office and serving 8 years in the army. I give my papi mad props for working as hard as he does. Becasue of him, I've learned the value of hard work. I've been working since I was 12, by choice, so I def know what work is. And I def am honored to have had that example in my life.

I also have a lot of personal projects that I'm working as mentioned in an earlier blog about some charities and organizations I want to startup. I have always had these plans in my heart and mind, but must admit I had kind of put them on the backburner. But that's all over time to get it poppin as my bestfriend would say( I see ya Mr.Jwork). Looking at how far his company has come has inspired me more than ever!! Which reminds me, they just launched their hot website and yall need to check it out!! They are the best newest clothing line in the midwest in my opinion!! You wanna be fresh to death check them out at www.jworklimited.com. They got some hot ish so be on the lookout cuz Jwork is on the rise!!!

I just feel so energized and excited about this year!! I can only imagine what God has planned for me?? I have let go of so much pain, anger, stress, fears, and friends. No negativity in 2009. Only happiness and success for me! And if ya can't bring that to the table then ya need to excuse yaself!!

I've started off to a great year! I've lost the weight I wanted(yea baby!!) goal was 15-20 pds and I lost 23!! I said I wasn't bringing bad friendships into 09 so I'm proud to say that I'm 2 people lighter!! Yea had to lay those friendships to rest. And believe me there were NO tears at that funeral!!lol I know I have more services to attend, what about yall???lol

My next big goal is to finally get situated for this move I'm going to be making. I have until march 1st to make up my mind what I'm going to do? I know I'm leaving for sure beacuse I need to be away from all the stress, hurt, and drama that was around me in 2008. I need to surround myself with positive, fun, loving, intelligent, funny, goal oriented, supportive people. I need people around me that will shine with me & not block my shine!! I told ya if ya blockin, you will get left behind!!! You're either with me or against me!!

So my moving choice was Orlando, FL, but because of my profession I can pretty much go anywhere. And I have been receiving offers from all over the place!!!lol So I ask to my friends here in blogworld.......Where should I go?? Tell me somethings about where yall live or where your from?? I must admit I am a very very warm/hot climate type of person, but I'm pretty much open to anywhere.

Well that's enough of that!!!lol Stop by and let me know what yall did for new years, what's your resolutions/goals for 2009, are yall puttin any friendships to rest? What was the deciding factor for you living where you live, or staying where you were born??

Hope to hear from yall soon!!! Have a great weekend!!! Smooches