11 Reasons He Dumped You

by Rich Santos, Marie Claire

I was flipping through a Women's Health recently (I admit it), and I noticed an interesting poll. Women cited the following as the most common breakup reasons:

• He changed

• We weren't compatible

• He cheated on me

When I was little, it drove me crazy when my parents supported "no" with "because I said so." I always wanted a reason. I'm not sure if knowing why always helps, but perhaps if you know common reasons guys break up with girls, you'll at least be able to see it coming. So, here are mine:

I Got Bored:  I've read many different hypotheses on attention span, but my favorite is (Wikipedia):

"Continuous attention span, or the amount of time a human can focus on an object without any lapse at all, is very brief and may be as short as 8 seconds. After this amount of time, it is likely that an individual's eyes will shift focus, or that a stray thought will briefly enter consciousness."

My attention span (unless it's a football game or a song) may be worse. I know a relationship is not supposed to be exciting all the time, so getting through those flatline moments between the sparks is critical. If I start having more fun with other activities, the relationship is doomed.

One of Us Was Too Serious:  This could be as simple as she wanted to see me three times a week, and I only wanted to see her once a week. If she's flirting with other guys, flighty, or not as into it as I am, then I'm too serious for her.

Burnout:  I'm a big believer in pacing and rhythm in dating. A relationship can suffer burnout if certain milestones occur too fast: Being exclusive, sex, meeting parents. When that happens, I get that feeling the colonists must have gotten after they won the Revolutionary War: "Ok, we did it...so now what?"

I Was Tempted To Cheat:  I do my best not to cheat, so when I have recurring urges to cheat on my girlfriend, I figure it's time to break up with her. I don't need to go through with cheating; the constant urge is enough for me to end things.

All My Friends Broke Up With Their Girlfriends:  This is by far the most immature reason on this list. While my girlfriend and I are curled up on the couch watching "The Devil Wears Prada," my newly single guy friends are out shredding the karaoke waves with Journey's "Don't Stop Believin" and tearing up the town. That conflict gives me wanderlust. It's much easier when we are all in for a quiet Saturday night with the significant others.

Divergent Lives:  If someone moves to another town, or work is taking over, or other life changes are driving you apart, sometimes it's best to end it.

Feeling Selfish:  Dating is selfless because you're giving your time and yourself up to a relationship. "Me time" is necessary at some point to work on career/living situation, travel, or whatever. When I'm in a "selfish period," it's tough to participate in a relationship.

I "Misread" My Feelings:  This is the most unfair of all the reasons. Both genders make this mistake—you get into a relationship and everything seems so great. Then, a few weeks later, you realize you got wrapped up in something for the wrong reason, dated for the sake of dating, or whatever, and you need to get out.

My Friends Or Family Didn't Like Her:  I pay close attention to friend/family opinions because they know me best, and they've earned the right to have their say. Also, friends and family may be able to see things inside the relationship that I'm too blinded to see.

I Took Her For Granted:  Great relationships should be easy, but there has to be some tension too—especially in the beginning. If it's too easy, there's a lack of challenge. If I feel like I could have her heart any time any place, sometimes I'll let her go. This almost always ends up coming back to haunt me later, though. I never learn.

She Was Too Negative:  All too often, I end up with the brooding, depressed, uptight type who is constantly complaining. I don't expect someone to be happy all the time, but if she makes me unhappy every time I see her, why stay with her?

What reasons have guys used to break up with you, and which make you most angry? What reasons have caused you to break up with guys? Which reasons do you think are the most common cause of breakups- do they differ for guys and women?

Haters By Maya Angelou

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all
their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.
They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever
good enough! When you make your mark, you will always attract some
haters…That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your
blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing you
blessed…

It's dangerous to be like somebody else…

If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given
you what He gave them! Right? You never know what people have gone
through to get what they have.

The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but
they don't know my story… If the grass looks greener on the other side
of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there
too!

We've all got some haters among us!  People envy you because you can:

Have a relationship with God
Light up a room when you walk in
Start your own business
Tell a man / woman to hit the curb (if he / she isn't about the right thing)
Raise your children without both parents being in the home

Haters can't stand to see you happy, Haters will never want to
see you succeed, Haters never want you to get the victory, most of our
haters are people who are supposed to be on our side. How do you handle
your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:

1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life? Purpose does not mean having a job.
You can have a job and still be unfulfilled. A purpose is having
a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not
defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not
human manipulation. Fulfill your dreams!

You only have one life to live…when it's your time to leave this earth,
you 'want' to be able to say, 'I've lived my life and fulfilled
'my' dreams,… Now I'm ready to go HOME! When God gives you favor, you can
tell your haters, Don't look at me…Look at Who is in charge of me…'

Maya Angelou

 

I advise anyone who read this to use these words of wisdom to heal your heart / give you courage to go on. Do not use it to strike at your haters, or with that purpose in mind, instead share this poem with a person who can appreciate and cherish this poem.

My Interview With Reggie Pt 1

So I had the absolute pleasure of being interviewed by my boo my heart my superstar Reggie!! He is absolutely fabulous and has some of the best blogs in the blogger world! He's actually also just invited me to be a part of his FEMALE blog which is the answer to his MALE blog! So be on the lookout for both! Make sure you also be on the lookout for his blog called Clowns which is a follow up to his popular blog titled Circus. And last but not least check out www.reggieiscrazy.blogspot.com

Barbies and Kens, I had the honor to interview my love, my superstar, my heart, my everything and the AB-SO-LUTE-LY lovely Miranda Lewis aka Ran. If you are NOT following her, run over to http://www.stillstanding.blogspot.com . She has been one of my supporters, my "barbies", my "stans" and had contacted me while in rehab and wished me the best. And I have to thank her again for her support. Thanks boo. When she moves to Florida, she has invited me and I will be going. Hey, I need a vacation. And with my other favorite blogger, B.Floyd together, that will be a hot ass mess. Fuckery with no change. I have a fuckery filled interview with the one and only Ran. I dish the "t" so get your damn cup and grab the ice! No Nuvo, only Patron! I don't need no drunk ass comments! ("Henny, Ciroc, Grey Goose, and Patron are my favs!" "Ran")   Ran is a follower and avid reader of this blog, so leave my girl some LOOOVEEE!

1. What is your real name? Miranda Marie Lewis

2. Beyonce has Sasha Fierce. Mariah Carey has Mimi. And Whitney has crack. Do you have any alter egos? Ran, Randa Boo, Randi, Randa, I have quite a few;o)

3. Is it true if you keep dying your hair it will fall out? IDK? If you don't take care of properly, then more than likely, yes your hair will be a wrap!!!

4. What did you want to be when you grew up? I am what I wanted to be! A Nurse!! I love helping people and learning about different illnesses and cures.

5. How did you get into blogging? My best friend got me into blogging. I was going through a rough depressing time and he told me it was very therapeutic for him so I should try it! And I'm glad I did!!

6. Do you like your job? Or would you rather blog professionally? I absolutely love my job! Its so rewarding for me that I don't consider it a job, but a pleasure and an honor!

7.Your type in men? Hmmm.... Tall nice build, smart, goal oriented, family oriented, funny, caring, respectful, dependable, trusting, understanding, supportive, adventurous, fashionable

8.Dating? Haha! I wish! Naaa newly single after 6 yrs...."I'm single again, back on the prowl" lol j/k

9.Still Friends with a ex? Yes, he's my best friend actually!

10.What is your dream now? To get my 2nd degree in Business mgt and one day open my own hospital in which I'd dedicate to my late grandmother, grandfather, and my mom.

11. Marriage? I feel like I should have been married, but somebody didn't put a ring on it!!! Lol but everything happens for a reason. But its def in my future plans:o)

12.Blackberry or Iphone? Imma BB girl!! 8900 Curve to be exact!13. Blunt or bottle? Bottle!! Henny, Ciroc, Grey Goose, and Patron are my favs!!

Stay tuned for part 2!! It gets better!!;o)

Life Is Full Of Curves

This last past months have been such a curvy winding twisting road. With the bumming out of me not moving to Florida after everything was set up and ready to go, except for the job. That has been the biggest disappointment for me to date.

I was so looking forward to leaving and starting off a new chapter in life. Especially after one truly important deciding factor didn't come through like thought it would. You know how sometimes you think you know someone and you realize you don't know them as much as you thought you did? Or you expect them to express themselves a certain way and they don't?

Well that's what happened to me. At first me wanting to move was because of the loss of family members back to back to back. The loss of another loved one and also the loss of someone who I've loved for 6 years. I felt like I wanted to just run away and be around new surroundings new people start a new life.

As time went on I admit I started to have second thoughts, but deep down I knew it was something I needed to do. They say when you don't go and make a change out of your comfort zone then there's no growth. I truly do believe that's true. I have been in a comfort zone for all of my life. And that's what made me really want to go!

It would have been easy for me to still go down and resume life, but with out a job down in Orlando I would have lasted all of a good year before I would have to start worrying about making $$. But that still doesn't include medical needs, school, and any other "emergencies" that may have popped up.

I had been pissed, stressed, sad, disappointed, and more about the situation. But after sitting dow evaluating everything and praying I've realized that everything truly happens for a reason. I've always been a firm believer in that, and this was a time I needed to listen to those words I say so many times to others.

After sitting down and just thinking praying and asking for guidance, I understand that I'm just gonna listen and let God guide me where he sees fit for me to go. I'm not gonna bitch moan and complain. Obviously he sees I'm still needed here in Columbus. For what reason?? I'm not sure, but eventually his plan for me will play out.

I will admit since I've stayed behind I've had the pleasure and honor of meeting some of the most intelligent, talented, humble, funny, business minded, motivational people. I know that they were brought into my life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Where they fall only time will tell, but at the moment I'm loving and cherish each and everyone one!!

Yes, this life of ours is always filled with so many twists, turns and curves. Its how we maneuver through them all that makes us or breaks us! I'm a Lewis and I'm not meant to be BROKEN!! Hence the title of my blog STILL STANDING!!

Shoes!!!

Okay I'm a shoe freak and I'm actually in the search of a house or condo with at least 3 good walk in closets!! Lol But these are some goodies I found and loved!

And please be advised what I find hot and sexy may not be what YOU find hot and sexy! So no hate please! 'Preciate it!

It's About That Time....

The Fall/Winter months are upon us so its time for the tank tops and flip flops to be put away!!! (At least around my area of the midwest).

I was sooooo not looking forward to having to look forward to getting fall/winter clothes out because I was hoping to be in a warmer climate by now, but unfortunately that's not the case.

So here's just a few hot coats that I've seen thus far.

Las Vegas Baby!!!

So I am anxiously waiting for the trip that me and a few friends have schedule to vacation in Viva Las Vegas!! None of us have ever been and its also 2 of my friends birthdays as well. So you know its definitely going down!!!

We have been asking people who have been where are the best hotels, food spots, shows, and clubs to hit up? We've been getting mad good feedback and its been great planning the process!

We are all just too excited for our own good and know its gonna be absolutely fun! 3 main comments we've gotten though are 1: Don't end up a part of the Vegas penal system; 2: Don't be a part of the spur of the moment wedding nuptials; and last the but not least the most important one of all; 3: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!! POW!

Stay tuned for updates and pics for this trip because oh wee its going down!!